


Penance

by allofuswithwings



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Feels, M/M, Pseudo-Incest, Sexual Coercion, Sibling Incest, Threats of Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-18
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-01 22:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1049551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofuswithwings/pseuds/allofuswithwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is sent to Earth to help the Avengers, as punishment for his crimes in New York.  He is allowed to retain his powers, but there is a catch - any harm he does will be returned upon him three-fold.  Thor must accompany him as chaperone, in mortal form, and he hopes the shift in the balance of power will heal their relationship.  Unfortunately, Thor doesn't realise exactly how far he'll have to fall to get his brother back.</p><p>  <i>“You will never know what it is to live a life half-invisible, seen only for your bad deeds, by a society who expects you to become the villain.  And when you do, the only person who supports you is a false brother who believes you to be something you were not, and can never be,” Loki seethed.  “Stop pretending you understand, because it is a lie.  The mighty Thor can never understand what it is to exist so low.”</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic forever ago, before anything had even been announced about The Dark World. Set immediately after The Avengers, it's basically my interpretation of Loki's punishment, and how he twists it to his advantage. It's a lot of feels and brotherly angst, and Loki being a manipulative little shit. No beta - much of this was stream-of-consciousness writing because I was having Thorki feels. Apologies if it seems disjointed. No spoilers for TDW obviously. Also, I am shit at titles.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's punishment is decided upon.

~*~

 

“I’ve called you here to discuss Loki.”

 

“You have decided his punishment?”

 

Odin let out a sigh, sitting back in the throne.  He looked grim, but tired rather than angry.  Thor took this as a good sign.

 

“Even captured and stripped of power, your brother proves troublesome,” Odin replied.  “Though I would not have expected otherwise.  But, determining the penalty has therefore been difficult.  Permanent imprisonment is neither beneficial nor kind; it would see the rest of us suffer along with Loki.  Neither can he be set free as he is to repeat his crimes.”

 

Odin paused here, and Thor took the opportunity to interject.  He wouldn’t stand idly by while the Allfather judged Loki when he was not there to defend himself.

 

“He is not beyond redemption.  His will to inflict violence is born of pain, not cruelty.  And amid his madness, there were moments of regret – I have seen it with my own eyes.”

 

“Moments may not be enough, despite your unwavering faith.”

 

“It is _because_ of my faith that Loki may yet be saved.  I can reach him – I can pull him back from his dark path.  And no matter what you say, I will keep trying until my breath ceases and I depart for Valhalla.”

 

Odin watched him silently for several long moments.  The time where he would defy his father upon his own stubborn opinion had long since passed, and the Allfather surely knew this.  But for Loki, he would.

 

Thor had come to learn, for Loki, there was little he wouldn’t do.

 

“I know this, my son.  Your loyalty is unsurpassed, particularly to your brother.  And it is upon this, that I place our hope.”  Thor’s brow drew together and Odin continued.  “Loki must do penance for his crimes on Midgard; he owes its people that much.  He must work to protect them now, rather than inflict suffering, and he would be a worthy addition to their army of exceptional warriors.”

 

“Loki will never agree to this.  He holds little regard to the people of Earth, and even less to their Avengers.  He will not go willingly.”

 

“No.  But he may if there is an incentive.”

 

“What incentive?”

 

“You.”

 

Thor held his father’s gaze, trying to determine the logic behind his words.  He had never been one for complex strategy – that was Odin and Loki’s domain.

 

“I do not see how my presence would help.  If anything, it may deter him.  He would claim it only another way for me to demonstrate my superiority over him.”

 

“That is why you will not be superior – I will strip your powers once more.”

 

Thor was silent, staring at his father.  It was not a jest, and he felt his old arrogance and pride prickling at the edges of his mind.  He did not believe he deserved to be so humbled again, nor understand Odin’s reasoning that it would help with Loki’s redemption.

 

“And Loki will be free to rain down terror upon the planet again,” Thor protested.  “He will perhaps not be able to rule as he once wished, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still do harm.”

 

“I am no fool; I have considered this.  That is why Loki will also be bound – any deed he does will be returned upon him three-fold.  Hurt he does to others, be it physical or otherwise, he will also feel, in both his body and his mind.”

 

In theory, it was a good strategy.  But Loki was no ordinary criminal.  He would no doubt find ways to use such a clever punishment to his own advantage.

 

It took Thor some moments to realise exactly the sort of damage Loki would want to inflict.  Though he would never admit it, the thought made his stomach twist.

 

He took several long breaths before speaking, slow and deliberate.  His head was bowed, gaze upon the floor of the dais.

 

“Loki will try to hurt me, consequences be damned.  The pain will not matter to him if he at least knows I suffer by his hand.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Thor had expected the reply, but it still took air from his lungs.

 

“And you would have me endure his wrath?”

 

“This decision I leave to you, my son,” Odin informed him.  “I see few courses of action to suitably deal with Loki, and only this one that may repair your brother’s mind and heart, cracked as they are.  Know this: he will not be able to kill you.”  He paused.  “But that may not be the comfort it first seems.”

 

Thor was silent for some time, thinking upon his father’s words.  He had few ideas himself about appropriate punishments for Loki, and none clever enough that might also bring his brother’s mind back from the shadows.  Appealing to Loki’s spite, giving him the opportunity to truly feel power over Thor, may just work.  As unpleasant as it was, there seemed little other choice.

 

Thor lifted his head now, meeting Odin’s gaze.

 

“As I said, I truly have faith in Loki.  I believe he will tire of hurting me, given the consequences, long before I succumb to the pain of it.”

 

It sounded far more confident than it actually felt, though his conviction seemed to reassure his father.  Odin’s expression relaxed a little and he sat up straighter on the throne.

 

“Then it is settled.  Loki’s punishment is exile and penance on Midgard until such a time that he is worthy to again return to Asgard.  You will travel with him to monitor and guide him.  Your values and wisdom will be used in place of your strength.  But you have something far greater than any of these that Loki will need the most.”

 

“What is that, Father?”

 

“Your love.”

 

A strange sadness settled in Thor’s chest, but he bowed slightly in understanding.  Odin nodded back, an acknowledgment and dismissal, and Thor turned and left the throne room.

 

The thought that it would not be long before he was at Loki’s mercy left Thor with a nervousness he hadn’t felt in a long time.

 

*

 

Loki was positively beaming as they walked along the Bifrost toward the junction.  Thor did not believe he should be so happy about what was technically a punishment.

 

Though, over several days thought, it’d come to feel like that this was more a punishment for him than for Loki.  He’d agreed to it, but Loki was essentially getting free reign over his beloved Earth, with almost full powers, and all of Thor’s stripped from him.

 

Thor suspected this was going to be a far more miserable experience than he’d first anticipated.  Still, anything that could bring Loki back to him was worth enduring.

 

Thor nodded in greeting as they approached Heimdall at the entrance.  Their mother followed behind, accompanied by Sif.  Odin had staged his formal send-off back in the Great Hall, but Frigga had unsurprisingly wanted a more personal farewell to her two sons.

 

Perhaps that was why Sif had come along, though Thor suspected it was also so she could be sure Loki went where he was supposed to.  Despite the many years that had passed, Thor still wished she would not regard his brother with such contempt.  If he was successful in his time upon Midgard, Thor hoped she may just change her mind.

 

“Good day, Heimdall,” Loki said, his teeth a brilliant white flash in his smile.

 

It was mockery, and Thor was sure Heimdall knew it, but the guard was as stoic as always and did not rise to the bait.  In this way and many others, he was wiser than any other man Thor knew, save for his father.

 

“Good day, my lords, ladies,” he replied.  “Midgard awaits for the sons of Odin.”

 

Thor looked over to see Loki sneer at the description, though he said nothing.  And a moment later, his wicked smile returned as they entered the chamber and prepared to leave.  He manhandled Thor quite unnecessarily toward the other side as Heimdall plunged the sword in the top of the platform, the sphere beginning to spin around them.

 

Thor would have retaliated, at least a little, if he’d still had his powers, but they were already gone.   And he knew that was precisely why Loki had done it – because he _could_.  He was going to have to get used to behaviour like this, he supposed.

 

Frigga turned to him as the portal began to open up, and he took her in a fierce embrace.  She held the back of his head with one hand, and it reminded Thor of his childhood, her comforting arms around him before sleep and in times of distress.

 

Her voice was hurried and low, only audible to him over the hum of the chamber as she spoke into his ear.

 

“Know that the binding of your brother extends both ways.  As he is thrice punished for hurting others, he will be thrice rewarded for being kind to them.  However, it will only work if it is genuine.  It is up to you to bring out this goodness in him.”

 

Thor turned his head a little, speaking into her hair.

 

“He does not know this?” Thor asked.  He had not been told of it before now.

 

“No.  It will be better for him to discover on his own.”

 

He pulled away to look into her face, and she lifted a hand to his cheek, smiling.

 

“I will take care of him,” Thor promised.

 

He flicked a glance to see Loki rolling his eyes – that part he’d heard, obviously.

 

Frigga released him to say goodbye to Loki, and hope soared once again in Thor at the change in Loki’s demeanour.  Throughout everything that had happened over the last few years, his brother had remained kind to their mother, at least insomuch as refraining from outright disdain or mockery.  Even now as they said their farewells, he looked quite serious, and though not precisely affectionate, he seemed less cold.

 

Sif, on the other hand, was fierce as she held Thor, seemingly not wanting to let him go.  He knew it was a combination of both concern and love that fuelled her, and he squeezed her back in hopes of reassuring her.

 

Had things been different, perhaps Sif would have quickly become his queen when he was crowned.  But everything on Midgard, with Jane Foster, and the Avengers, and especially Loki, had changed him, changed _them_ , and Thor seldom thought of ruling Asgard, let alone marriage, anymore.  Still, he loved her, and would miss her dearly.

 

She released him with shining eyes, and Thor took his place beside Loki at the portal.

 

With a firm hand on his shoulder, Loki threw Thor a grin that was all teeth, before they were both pulled into the spiralling rush of the open Bifrost.

 

*


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first magical consequences of Loki's bad behaviour on Earth begin to manifest. Thor thinks his situation is not quite as dire as he'd imagined.

~*~

 

The magic weaved into Loki’s binding proved to be more complex and subtle than Thor had initially supposed.

 

Loki had taken several expected cheap shots at him not a day after arriving on Earth, chuckling wryly at the blood he coughed up in swift retribution.  It would not be enough to deter him, not yet, and in his mortal state, Thor had to admit the thought left him feeling uneasy.  He was still strong, stronger than probably the rest of the normal humans on the planet, but Loki’s power was infinitely greater.

 

The Avengers had come to his defence, which was some consolation.

 

The two of them were staying in Stark Tower, at least for the time being, and afforded an entire floor to themselves.  A monitoring system kept an eye on them in the main areas, so Thor’s friends could see most of what Loki got up to, not taking kindly to the abuse of his brother.

 

Loki quickly learnt that causing them hurt was much less fun than with Thor, given the consequences.

 

And so, a steely truce was made to not draw one another in conflict, though Loki, in his silvery skill with words, didn’t outright promise to leave Thor be.  He only conceded that he would invoke their wrath if they saw him hurt his brother again, and that that situation was not desirable.

 

The Avengers did not seem to foresee that then Loki need only not be _observed_ doing it.

 

It was not quite so grim as Thor predicted though.  Loki suffered through his physical torments well enough, quite used to such tolls on his body in battle, but the other consequences seemed to catch him off-guard.

 

Thor also, did not expect them.

 

*

 

The day after Loki had back-handed his brother across the living area, Thor found him sitting cross-legged by the windows.  He had his hand out and upturned in front of him, a look of concentration on his face.  As Thor moved closer, he could see the slight downwards curve of Loki’s mouth and knitting of his brows that suggested whatever he was trying to do wasn’t going well.

 

Thor watched as Loki’s long fingers twitched and curled a little in effort, a snarl escaping Loki’s lips when nothing manifested.

 

“You look troubled, Brother.”

 

Loki threw him a vicious look.

 

“Your powers of deduction are astounding, _Odinson_ ,” he snapped.  “How is it that you’ve ever been challenged in battle with such remarkable logic?”

 

Loki’s mockery washed over him, as it always did now, and he came to stand beside his brother, arms folded over his chest.

 

“Do you need assistance?”

 

Loki laughed, loud and scornful.

 

“From _you_?  I think not.  Go back to your weapons and brute strength – the subtleties of magic and strategy never fit you well.”

 

“No, they did not.  But perhaps that is why I can help; an objective eye could see what you cannot.”

 

Loki scoffed at him.

 

“Don’t be _stupid_.  There’s nothing to see.  There’s no obstacle I must overcome, or different tactic I must take.  These magics I’ve been using since I was a child – they come to me as naturally as the breaths in my lungs.”  He paused, a frown settling hard in his brow again.  “But now it seems that I have somehow _forgotten_ how to breathe, and my lungs don’t know that it’s this they were built for.  It’s absurd.”

 

Loki was right in his assessment of Thor’s strength of reason – he was not known for his intelligence in the way his brother was.  But somehow he knew then, without doubt, that Loki’s troubles were the direct result of his disagreeable behaviour.  His mistreatment of Thor and refusal to assist the Avengers since they’d arrived was being paid back in a way that was a true punishment for him.  Loki valued his mind and magical skills – to have them compromised would no doubt be seen as a fate worse than death by his brother.

 

The thought gave Thor an inexplicable rush of hope.

 

“It is your own doing, Loki,” Thor informed him.

 

Loki turned his head to look up at Thor, his expression full of disdain.

 

“Oh, I suppose you think this is some sort of appropriate justice being dealt to me by the universe for all those _terrible_ things I’ve done,” he mocked.  “That if I was just a _good_ son, this sort of thing would never happen to me.”

 

Thor watched him, feeling a little smug that for once he had calculated further ahead in their father’s plan than Loki had.

 

“Not by the universe, Loki – by our father.  He told you of the consequences, did he not, if you chose to be difficult?  You would pay three-fold, and not simply with physical pain.  If you keep on this path of destruction, you will lose that which you hold dearest of all.”

 

The look of bewilderment at this realisation did not sit well on Loki – he was so used to being the clever one.  Then his lips curled into another snarl and he stood up, flicking a hand dismissively.

 

“Odin would never do that – he is too weak to be so cruel.  He would not let his own son, even a Jotun monster such as me, decay into a pathetic, soft-minded fool.  He would _not_.”

 

Thor knew Loki intended it to sound like an indictment, but he could sense the panic that was starting to overcome his brother.

 

“That is why this is a choice.  It is up to you to keep yourself from that fate.  As long as you show mercy to others, you will remain whole and strong.”

 

He stopped short of telling Loki that kindness would reward him even more richly.  He desperately wanted to, but it had been a solemn instruction from both their father and mother not to do so.  Thor did not wish to defy them on so small a matter, especially when the reasons for it remained a mystery to him.

 

“That is easy for someone who has been shown kindness and favour their whole life, but I have not been so fortunate.  Others do not deserve my sympathy when they show me none.”

 

Thor gestured with a wide sweep of his hand, frustrated.

 

 “These people have done nothing to you – they _have_ shown you kindness and you still look upon them with contempt.  You imagine condemnation that is not there, Loki!”

 

Loki pushed past him with a heavy hand, his expression thunderous.

 

“I imagine _nothing_ – it’s you that is blind!  You think all people of Earth are good and welcoming, because that is how they treat _you_.  But they see _me_ as nothing more than a monster, an enemy, or at the very least an inferior version of you.  And I refuse to be benevolent to those that would judge me so swiftly.”

 

“You tried to _kill_ them, Loki!  You opened a doorway for invasion of their planet; it is understandable that they mistrust you.”

 

“It’s more than mistrust.  Others are forgiven for their mistakes, their crimes, when they have done their penance, but it will never happen for me.  I will always be the villain, because I’m not physically strong, I’m not honourable, and I refuse to suffer fools.  I’m nothing like the golden boy God of Thunder that is my brother, and therefore nothing I do will ever be good enough.  It has always been this way and will always be.”

 

There was much hatred and bile in Loki’s words, but even now Thor knew they came from a place of hurt, of pain, of rejection.

 

“I know that you have not been treated fairly in your life – not by me, not by our father, nor by many in Asgard.  I understand how that has hurt you, twisted you into something bitter and troubled.”

 

“You understand _nothing!_ ” Loki snarled, his eyes flashing.  “You think because you’re no longer ignorant of everything going on around you, that you have any idea what I’ve had to endure these past centuries?  No.  Just because you see it, doesn’t mean you understand it.”

 

“I can try.  And I can feel empathy, if nothing else.”

 

“I don’t need, nor do I want, your pity,” Loki said, disdain lacing his words.

 

“It’s not _pity_ ,” Thor growled in frustration.  “Why must you always be this way?”

 

“Because it’s who I _am_.  Haven’t you got that through your thick skull yet?” Loki retorted.  “You cannot make me like you are, because I never _was_.  Even now you try to force your expectations upon me, just like the Allfather did.  I can only be who I am and always was.  Clearly, you’re still deluded in thinking I can be something else, something you think is _better_.  Well, I _cannot_ , so stop trying.”

 

“I don’t want you to be someone else, Loki,” Thor said vehemently.  “I always loved you as you were – quiet, clever, brave.  I even loved the mischief and cunning.  You were not like everyone else, and refused to be.  And I would not have had it another way.  It was when the mischief turned to cruelty that my disappointment came.  That was never part of you before.”

 

“Perhaps it was.  Perhaps you just never noticed it.  And you only refuse to accept it now.”

 

Loki was trying to discourage him, make him give up on his brother, but even Thor could hear that his words lacked conviction; he did not truly believe that yet.

 

Thor took Loki by the shoulders to shake him, as he had done a hundred times before.  It didn’t matter that he now only had a fraction of the same strength, and Loki barely moved under his touch – he would make his brother see sense.

 

“ _No_.  Your pain has caused this, and it can be mended.  I will not give up on you.”

 

Loki shrugged him off with ease, turning away.

 

“I don’t need you to _fix_ me,” he informed him.  “I don’t want your help and I never have.  I’d rather be tied down and have poison poured into my mouth for an eternity, than have to suffer through your pathetic attempts to ‘save’ me over the next hundred years on this miserable planet.”

 

Thor gave a growl of dismay and took Loki by the arm to pull their faces close.  He looked hard into his brother’s eyes, determined.

 

“You will not make me hate you, Loki, no matter what you say.  As clever as you are, you should have learnt that by now.  I will always love you, Brother.”

 

Loki threw him off violently with a snarl, his hand a slap upon Thor’s chest, sending him sliding across the floor.  Thor coughed hard, the wind knocked out of him, and he didn’t doubt there would be a bruise on his sternum later.

 

Almost immediately, Loki fell to his knees, slamming the heel of his hand to his forehead and gasping with pain.  He smacked his other hand down upon the smooth floor, cursing and deploring his punishment.  His head bowed further forward and Thor could see him breathing hard, his body trembling.

 

“I hate you, I _hate_ you.”

 

He was muttering this as Thor picked himself up and approached Loki, his steps slow from his own injury.  He dropped to a knee beside his brother, a hand coming to rest on Loki’s back instinctively.

 

“You do not.”

 

Loki eyed him from beneath the hair that hung down over his head, the gaze still furious.  He elbowed Thor’s arm away as he began to rub soothing lines up and down his back in comfort.

 

“Don’t touch me.  Don’t ever think you’re entitled to that,” Loki growled.

 

Thor threw him another look of dismay but did as he asked.

 

“You may always treat me as your enemy, but know that I will never regard you as one.”

 

Loki took several more steadying breaths before pushing his hair out of his face and recoiling from Thor.

 

“Get out.  Before I strike you again and we both end up in agony once more.”

 

He meant it as a threat but his voice was weak, and when Thor looked at his face, he appeared more exhausted than angry now.

 

Thor nodded and stood, departing their chambers.

 

It was not a victory, but Thor hoped Loki would learn something at the very least.

 

*


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's punishment begins to take its toll, and Thor can't help but feel a little sorry for him.

~*~

 

Loki was indeed quick to take his new information on board.

 

He refrained from doing physical harm to his brother most days now, and did not seem to be actively trying to cause major trouble on Midgard.  He’d ceased using his doubles to taunt the people of New York City, who had not forgotten his face, and still feared and hated him.  He’d also stopped using his tricks to make it appear as though different nations were launching weapons against one another, which had frightened and provoked the humans in equal measure.

 

It was not Loki showing any sort of kindness of course, but it was a start.

 

And yet, Thor was troubled.

 

His brother seemed to be growing more distant and melancholy as the days went by, not a state he remembered seeing in Loki very often before.  Granted, his awareness of Loki’s moods had only really developed in the last few years, so he may have simply not noticed his sadness in the past.

 

But that wasn’t a pleasant thought either.

 

*

 

Thor found him by the window again one day, his fingers pressed lightly to the glass as he watched the rain fall soundly onto the city outside.  He was still and looked small somehow, as though very far away.

 

Thor approached him, slowly, his eyes never leaving him.

 

“Without it, I’m nothing,” Loki said, without turning around.  “My magic will disappear and I along with it.  I will become a shadow.”

 

Thor felt his breath catch at Loki’s words, and the despair that lingered in their tone.

 

“That is not true.  You have never been only your magical skills.  You are far more than that, Brother.”

 

Loki turned his head now, his eyes at once both pale and dark.

 

“The sharpness of my mind, then.  And that too slips, day by day.”

 

“You truly think that is all you are?” Thor asked.  “No, I don’t believe it – you have courage and spirit and heart.  And even if your mind were dulled, it would make you no less the brother I know and love.”

 

Loki laughed, cold and hard.

 

“If you think I have heart, then I don’t believe you _do_ know me.”

 

Thor frowned, stepping close behind his brother.  His hand aborted its attempt mid-air to touch Loki’s back.

 

“It’s bruised, perhaps, but it’s there.  If you did not care at all, your violence would be indiscriminate, not directed as it has been.  You cannot fool me in this, Loki.”

 

Loki’s expression turned grave, almost on anger, but whatever he believed about Thor’s faith in him he didn’t voice.

 

“It’s of no consequence.  I will diminish into a useless idiot here on vile Midgard, surrounded by the same.”

 

Thor threw aside Loki’s previous warnings and grabbed him by the arm to make his brother look him in the face.

 

“You have the power to undo this at any time, if you’d only cast aside your pride.  Stop being so stubborn.  Making a martyr of yourself to spite me and Father will achieve nothing.  Prove your mighty cunning by reclaiming the skills that have been taken from you.”

 

Loki stared at Thor with a mixture of shock and irritation, eventually settling on indignation and yanking his arm from Thor’s grip.  Thor supposed it was better than despair.

 

“It’s not as easy as you suppose – certainly not now I’ve already lost half my abilities.”

 

“Yet you still retain half.  Use these to assist the Avengers and you will be restored.  Even the smallest gesture will be repaid to you.”

 

“I do not wish to.”

 

He was acting like the petulant child he was always accusing Thor of being.  Thor couldn’t help but laugh.  Loki scowled at him.

 

“You are not being asked to defend the entire planet, nor even save the lives of the Avengers; it is only assistance with minor duties.   Surely you are capable of that?”

 

Loki’s mouth twisted and he bared his teeth as he often did when Thor challenged him.  Loki wasn’t one to rise to such baiting, but perhaps because of his frustration and despair, it worked on this occasion.

 

“You know I’m more than capable,” he snapped, taking Thor by the front of his tunic.  “Even in my deteriorated state I could achieve more than all your precious Avengers put together.”

 

Thor leaned his face forward so they were almost nose to nose.

 

“Then do it.”

 

Loki scoffed and pushed Thor away, releasing his shirt and making him stumble.

 

“I won’t be dictated to by you.  I do what I want.”

 

“Then if you continue to be difficult, you bring about your own demise.  I don’t think that’s what you want, Brother.”

 

Loki retreated to the window again, arms folded over his chest and grim expression on his face.  He didn’t reply to Thor’s assertion, and Thor knew he was unwilling to participate further in the conversation.

 

Thor let out a sigh and left Loki to his own devices.

 

*


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki shows he can indeed be of use to the Avengers when he feels like it.

~*~

 

It was another week before Loki finally relented in his stubbornness.

 

A few of the Avengers had assembled aboard the Helicarrier to plan an attack on an enemy who had weapons believed to have been derived from the Tesseract.  They weren’t sure if they were those from Loki’s attack, or the humans’ previous experiments.  Either way, they needed to be recovered.

 

Captain Rogers was outlining the layout of their believed location when Loki appeared very suddenly at the head of the table.

 

“You humans are obsessed with planning, despite how very infrequently anything you do goes to plan.”

 

Everybody in the room jumped, besides Thor, and two soldiers in the corridor rushed into the room.  They pointed their weapons at Loki, who just stood there with an expression of mockery and amusement on his features.

 

Thor put his hand up to reassure them.

 

“It is only my brother, come to assist us.”

 

Loki snorted.

 

“ _Assist_ is probably a little strong.”

 

“Yeah.  The only thing Loki would assist us in is getting killed more quickly,” Agent Barton interjected.  “I’ll pass on his help, thanks.”

 

“Oh, that’s a shame.  I was going to offer to retrieve your precious weapons without risking injury to any of your soldiers.  But never mind then.”

 

Thor stepped toward his brother, sighing at the quarrelling that still persisted between all of them.

 

“ _Loki_.  Enough games.  Are you here to help us or not?”

 

Loki drew his hands together behind his back, beginning a leisurely stroll around the table.  Steve and Clint were frowning, and Agent Romanov watched him with her usual quiet examination.

 

“Only if you really want it.  I’m not sure I’m in the mood to do favours for people who’ll resent it.”

 

Thor cut in before any of the Avengers rose to his taunts.

 

“We want it.  What can you do for us, Brother?”

 

Steve looked like he wanted to object, but Thor knew he respected his Asgardian friend’s judgement enough to remain silent.

 

“As I said, I can remove the weapons without any of you having to set foot in the building.  Your enemy won’t even realise they’ve gone until it’s far too late.”

 

Natasha spoke up now, her words measured and expression unreadable.

 

“You can move like a shadow when you want, on paths in and out, that the rest of us can’t see.  That’s your plan for the Tesseract weapons.”

 

Loki smirked, but Thor knew it was partially at Natasha’s sharp mind, rather than complete mockery.

 

“A _skill_ , not a plan, but yes.  I need not use the building’s doors to gain entrance.  This is why I’ll be far more efficient than the rest of you.  It’s childishly simple.”

 

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, levelling his gaze at Loki.

 

“Alright.  Go ahead then.  Prove this isn’t just you coming in here to mock us.”

 

Thor winced at his choice of words; Loki had tired of proving his worth long ago, particularly in battle.

 

But Loki only sniffed and gave a wicked grin.

 

“It does sound like something I would do.  However, not this time.”

 

He then quickly faded from their vision, and the small band of Avengers were left alone in the conference chambers once more.

 

“Why do I have a bad feeling about this?” Steve wondered aloud.

 

Clint snorted.

 

“Because it’s Loki.  Everything he touches turns to shit.”

 

Thor threw him a thunderous look.

 

“Is it no wonder when you treat him such?  Loki is flawed – I know this more than any of you.  But he is not beyond redemption.  You give him no chance to show that he can be more than the madness that took him.”

 

Clint clenched his jaw, and Thor watched Natasha flick a glance at her partner.

 

“I know what Loki can be.  I was there, part of his army, one of his mindless drones, forced to do his bidding.  It’s only cruelty and hatred that motivates him – there’s nothing else there.  You’re too blind to see that because he’s your brother.”

 

Thor pressed his palms down on the table, voice low in warning.

 

“Take care how you speak.  I will not hesitate–”

 

But Thor’s threat remained unspoken as Loki popped back into the room, his arms laden with a large crate.

 

He dumped it unceremoniously on the table, causing it to break open.  Several Tesseract weapons slid out across the wooden surface.

 

They all stared blankly in silence for a few moments.

 

“Your enemy didn’t even bother to secure them in any sort of sturdy container.  A little lax if you ask me,” Loki said.

 

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, gaze drawing up to Loki.

 

“He did it.”

 

“Well, the first part I did, yes.”

 

They all looked at him.

 

“The first part?” Clint queried.

 

“You don’t really believe your allies would be so concerned over just one box of these?  There are another half a dozen, at least.  Though, I can’t see the rest being any more trouble.”

 

Loki vanished again and they were left gaping at the empty space where he’d stood.

 

“Now do you see you were wrong to doubt him?” Thor said.  “He will assist if only given the chance to do so.”

 

“He’s only doing it so he can rub it in our faces,” Clint replied.  “He’s not doing it out of the goodness of his heart.”

 

Thor was about to protest but Natasha spoke up first.

 

“Does it really matter though?” she asked.  “Having someone of Loki’s power on our side is a huge bonus, even if his motives are questionable.”

 

Steve shook his head.

 

“We need people on our team that we can rely on.  I don’t think any of us trust him enough to think he’d have our backs in a firefight.”

 

“So don’t expect him to.  All of us have our strengths and weaknesses – we utilise Loki for his stealth and cunning, rather than offensive abilities.  It’s worth the risk.”

 

Even Thor was surprised by Natasha’s defence of his brother; she had borne the brunt of Loki’s vicious tongue during his attack on Earth, so he hadn’t thought she’d be any more willing to accept Loki’s help.  Though, Natasha was a very practical warrior and understood the complexities of battle better than most.

 

“She’s right,” Thor said.  “Loki is no truly honourable warrior, and I am not foolish enough to think so.  But to pass up his skills when they are offered freely would be more foolish.”

 

“Problem is, I doubt very much they’re free,” Clint pointed out.  “Loki always has a plan – he always has an agenda he’s working toward, some advantage he’s trying to gain.  And given your extensive life-span, I’d say he’s a hell of a lot better at playing the long game than the rest of us.  If we allow him even the smallest piece of our trust, somewhere along the line it’s going to bite us in the ass.”

 

Natasha fixed her gaze on Clint now, arms across her chest.

 

“So, because of his past, he doesn’t deserve a second chance?  You’re just going to assume he’s a lost cause without letting him try to prove himself.”

 

Clint furrowed his brow, his expression softening a little.

 

“Nat, that’s not how I meant it.  Loki’s not of Earth – he’s different than us.”

 

“Is he?  Are you really sure about that?”

 

Clint opened his mouth to respond, but Loki appeared abruptly back into the room again, cutting short their debate.

 

He staggered a little this time as he threw the crate onto the table beside the other, and his clothes were askew, hair dishevelled.  He was also breathing harder, though his self-satisfied grin remained.

 

“Seems they have pressure sensors in the vault that I didn’t anticipate; they were a little upset I came back to steal the rest of their weapons.  Not as simple as I’d first asserted, but no matter – they can’t defeat me with their feeble firepower.”

 

It was true that Loki was at little risk of being truly injured, but Thor still didn’t like the thought of him putting himself in danger purely due to pride or spite.

 

“You’re going back to get the rest?” Steve asked.  “Even though they probably know you’re coming now?”

 

“Of course.  Why would I not?  I may as well finish what I started.”

 

Clint meanwhile was doing his best to ignore Loki and sort through the weapons he’d brought back.  Natasha was just watching them all with a measured expression.

 

“Loki, you have done much to demonstrate your abilities,” Thro protested.  “There is no need to return to certain danger.”

 

Loki threw him a withering look.

 

“There’s no danger – at least, not for me.”

 

His grin was wicked.  A moment later he was gone again, despite Thor’s cries of dismay.

 

True to his word, he reappeared some minutes later, another crate in hand.  This time his coat had a small tear and what appeared to be blood splattered across one side of his chest.

 

Thor rushed to him as soon as he saw it, heart leaping into his throat.

 

“Brother, you are hurt!”

 

But Loki brushed him off, eying the blood splatter for a moment before shrugging.

 

“I’m not.  Stop your pathetic worrying.  I merely had to contend with some idiotic soldier who got too close; it’s their blood that was spilled, not mine.”

 

Still, Thor did not withdraw from him, his hand coming to grasp the fabric of Loki’s sleeve.

 

“Stop.  You don’t need to do this.  It’s enough.”

 

Loki’s eyes flicked to the other Avengers for a moment.

 

“It’s not.  You need all of those weapons.  Even a single one will be enough to inflict great damage upon your allies.  You need me to collect all of them or it’s a wasted effort.”

 

Steve sighed.

 

“Thor, I hate to say it, but Loki’s right.  Any of these is a blueprint for making more.  We need to retrieve every last one.”

 

“Then it’s settled.”

 

Thor shouted as Loki disappeared under his grip, and he was left with nothing but his own clenched fists.

 

“Stubborn ass!” he cried.

 

“And this is why having Loki’s aid might not be such a great idea – he’s liable to do what he wants, damn the consequences,” Steve said.  “I know you think he’ll be an asset, but a loose cannon isn’t really what he need on this team.”

 

“That may be so, but Loki needs this,” Thor explained.  “Whether he realises it or not.”

 

Clint looked up from his cataloguing of the weapons.

 

“Well, I don’t give a rat’s ass what Loki needs,” he said.  “His precious emotional state is not our concern.”

 

“Yet it is mine,” Thor argued.  “A warrior needs a strong mind and heart, as well as body.  I will have neither of these if Loki remains troubled – I will be of little use to you then.”

 

Steve sighed again and sat down.

 

“It’s just hard for us, Thor.  Can you understand that?  All the terrible things Loki did to us – some more than others–”  He flicked a glance at Clint.  “It’s not easy to forget.”

 

Clint’s brow had drawn together into a frown and his mouth was a hard line.  Natasha stood near him, helping sort through the weapons while monitoring him.

 

“I do not ask you to,” Thor said, softer now.  “I ask only for a chance to make amends.  Am I mistaken in believing Midgard values mercy?”

 

Natasha looked up at him.

 

“Some of it does.  I like to think we do here.”

 

“Then I would ask that you not deny it to Loki.  If not for his sake, then for mine.”

 

Loki appeared across the room this time, two crates in his arms.  He looked worse for wear, and dropped the cargo almost immediately upon his arrival, one arm bracing against the wall.

 

Thor was upon him in an instant, taking his brother by the back of the neck and under his ribs.  Loki hissed and swatted him away.  Despite his claims, it was clear he’d been injured.

 

“I’m fine.  Stop mothering me.”

 

“You are not fine – you are hurt.”

 

Loki waved a dismissive hand.

 

“I endured worse in training as a child.”

 

But even Natasha looked unconvinced, and Thor could see her curiosity at his actions.  Steve stood again and bent down to collect the new crates from the floor.

 

“This is all of it?” he asked.

 

“One more,” Loki said.

 

Thor frowned as he saw Loki move stiffly to remove his torn coat.  Steve was also eying him but said nothing.

 

Thor stepped forward to take his brother by the neck again, catching him in a stern gaze.

 

“Enough of this, Loki.  Let the Midgardians finish your work.”

 

Loki sneered at him.

 

“Of course, because I could _never_ do this on my own.  Someone else must always step in, and since you can’t, you’ll get your humans to do it for you.”

 

Thor scowled.

 

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

 

“Oh, but it is – it _always_ is.  You can’t just leave me to do as I will, to fight battles how I wish.  You have to come in and save the day, interfere with my plans.  You must always _meddle_.”

 

Loki was practically spitting the words by the end, and Thor studied the sheer indignant rage burning in his eyes.  Suddenly he realised he was being no more help than the other Avengers.

 

He released Loki and stepped back, his hands dropping to his sides.

 

“You are right, Brother,” he admitted.  “I should let you aid us as you wish and not hinder you.  I know you’ll be victorious.”

 

Loki’s vicious expression slowly turned to one of suspicious curiosity, and he narrowed his eyes at Thor.

 

“No, wait a moment.  You’re not one to be humble.  What are you trying to achieve?”

 

“I wish for you to help us, that is all.”

 

Loki gave a wry grin.

 

“But there’s something more going on here.  Only a moment ago you were shouting at me for going into battle with the humans – now you’re wishing me well.  I know a deception when I see one.”

 

“There is no deception.  I only realised you do as you will, and I must accept that if I’m to have your help.”

 

Loki watched him for a few more moments before snorting and turning to adjust his rumpled garments.

 

“I _shall_ be victorious; you are right about that at least.  Please excuse me while I go back to execute the rest of the idiot soldiers who dared challenge me.”

 

And with that he was gone.

 

A silence ensued, and Thor felt the eyes of his friends upon him.

 

“I’m sure he was just saying that to provoke us,” Steve said, breaking the tension.

 

Natasha looked over at him and then down at the weapons before her.

 

“Thing is, I’m not sure he was.”

 

Thor had a sinking feeling she was right.

 

*


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor thinks helping out on Earth may be doing Loki some good.

~*~

 

Loki wasn’t injured badly during the weapons-retrieval mission, and healed swiftly.  Though his introduction to teamwork hadn’t been ideal, it did prove beneficial.  All of the magic he’d lost returned and his bout of melancholy appeared to pass.

 

Unsurprisingly, Loki didn’t miss the message.

 

He presented himself for another mission not a week later.  Once again, it involved Loki espousing his own abilities and mocking those of the Avengers and humanity in general, much to the annoyance of everyone in attendance.

 

It was only when Bruce Banner spoke up to put Loki in line that his brother retreated a little in his scorn.  Clearly, the severity of his last encounter with the doctor still lingered in the back of his mind.

 

Despite Loki’s hubris, he was allowed to assist.  It was not frontline fighting this time – SHIELD hadn’t approved of Loki’s unauthorised engagement last time, and they didn’t want him raining destruction down on their behalf.  The surveillance and reconnaissance he was assigned were much more fitting anyway, Thor thought, given his talents for deception, and indeed he excelled at it.

 

That said, Thor knew his brother could only resist the lure of mischief for so long.

 

It was no surprise when they found out Loki had kept small pieces of important information to himself on occasion.  It caused some of the Avengers to be drawn into conflict unprepared, and though no-one was seriously hurt, they were less than impressed.

 

Loki paid for it of course, his ability to transport himself at will vanishing for several days after.  Thor didn’t hide his amusement as Loki was forced to endure more mundane Midgardian transport, the sullen look on his brother’s face almost worth the trouble he’d caused.

 

It was some time before Loki tried anything like that again.

 

*

 

Several weeks passed at the Stark Tower in newly established, if uneasy, peace.

 

Missions and battles were steady but not perilous, and Loki kept largely to himself the rest of the time.  It wasn’t much, but it pleased Thor that he wasn’t deliberately provoking anyone, at least for the time being.

 

“You do not hate Midgard as you once did, do you, Brother?” Thor asked.

 

Loki flicked his gaze up from his book, his expression unchanged.

 

“And what makes you think that?”

 

Thor smiled.

 

“You are much more agreeable than I have seen you in a long time.  And I am glad.”

 

Loki rolled his eyes.

 

“You see pleasantries where there are none.  I don’t despise this sad little world any less than I did before.  I only seem cheerful because I’ve enjoyed killing human enemies the last few weeks.”

 

Thor’s smile didn’t fade.

 

“Even I can see you are lying this time.  You’ve had very little opportunity to kill _anyone_ in battle – you’ve only been allowed to engage in combat two or three times.”

 

“Then perhaps I’ve been killing people outside of missions.  You don’t watch me every moment of the day.”

 

Thor laughed now.

 

“If that were true then you would be far duller than I by now, not to mention crippled with pain.  The magical restraints that inhibit you haven’t ceased to work.”

 

Loki’s expression was cold.

 

“How do you know?”

 

“If they had, my Earth friends would already be dead by your hand.”

 

“And what if I am simply planning something greater and more devastating?”

 

Thor folded his arms over his chest, looking down at his brother.

 

“Prove it to me, then,” he challenged.  “Strike me, and show me you have no consequences.”

 

Loki scowled and said nothing, going back to his book.

 

Thor grinned again.  He reached down to press a hand on Loki’s shoulder.

 

“Take heart, Brother.  To help others and to belong is not as terrible as you imagine.”

 

Loki’s jaw twitched.

 

“I don’t need their acceptance,” he sneered.

 

“And yet, you want it.”

 

Loki moved more swiftly than Thor was able to, taking hold of Thor’s hand upon his shoulder to yank him down to his knees, other hand twisted in his hair to pull his face close.  His teeth were bared and eyes ablaze as he spoke.

 

“I want _nothing_ from them.  They are beneath me.  Don’t imagine for one moment you know _anything_ of what I want.”

 

Thor didn’t flinch, even as his arm ached from Loki’s rough and awkward grip.

 

“I’ve seen the glow of pride upon you when Tony admits your skills helped complete a mission.  Or when Natasha approves of your infiltration plans.  Whether you admit it or not, you enjoy their praise.  It is nothing to be ashamed of.”

 

Loki scoffed.

 

“Praise from Midgardians is like attention from a pet – occasionally pleasant but ultimately meaningless.  They don’t know true valour or skill.”

 

Thor shook his head.

 

“You underestimate them, Loki – they _do_ know it.  And they are starting to see it in you, as I have always done.”

 

Thor lifted his hand to cradle Loki’s head, fingers tangling in his hair.  Loki’s expression was familiarly conflicted; he raged against Thor out of habit, yet couldn’t help but consider his words.

 

“Still you see honour that isn’t there.  You are a fool, Odinson.”

 

“To think there is good in you?  That isn’t foolish, for I have seen it with my own eyes,” Thor shot back.  “You seem to forget all the years we spent together on Asgard.  Perhaps the last few you dreamed of poisonous things, but it wasn’t always so.  I grew with you, I loved you – I _know_ you, Brother.”

 

Loki bared his teeth again and shoved Thor off, recoiling from his touch.

 

“You know _nothing_ ,” he growled.

 

He went back to his book and Thor knew that was the end of it; Loki wouldn’t be drawn into this discussion again today.  It would have to wait.

 

*

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor begins to understand the true purpose of Loki's punishment. And that his brother can never resist the pull of mischief for very long.

~*~

 

Weeks turned into months at Stark Tower, and Thor began to feel at home there, as much as was possible on Midgard.

 

He furnished their floor with items that reminded him of home: a goblet like the one he used in the feast hall; two great wooden chairs of familiar Asgardian design; and a pair of ravens carved of stone.

 

The last, Loki treated with contempt.

 

“Odin already watches everything we do here on Midgard – why would you want a reminder of his spies?”

 

Thor was forced to move them to his own bedchamber, as Loki threatened to hurl them from the balcony if he ever saw them again.

 

It was true, Thor had seen glimpses of Hugin and Munnin during their time on Earth, though exactly how close an eye their father was keeping on them, he couldn’t be sure.  But where Loki saw spying, Thor saw comfort; Odin cared for them both, and wanted to know his sons were learning from their past.

 

But Thor couldn’t really be sure how that was going.  He believed he was treating Loki differently, giving him as much support and respect as possible, and that he’d moved on from the arrogance and thoughtlessness of his youth.

 

And some days, Loki seemed to acknowledge this, satisfied that Thor was no longer above him, looking down on the subtle, unconventional combat skills of his brother.  But other times he was filled with such wrath and spite, it was as if they were still locked in battle above New York with the Chitauri swarming around them.

 

Loki would rage at Thor for his pride, for ignorance of his brother’s suffering, and his affection for a world and people would never truly accept him.  Any words Thor tried to use to console him only seemed to make it worse, and it was those times that Loki’s anger turned to violence.  He flung Thor across rooms, into furniture and walls alike, and choked him to the brink of unconsciousness, heedless of the blood he spit as recompense.

 

His mouth was red as he pinned his brother to the broken table, growling low against his face.

 

“You will never know what it is to live a life half-invisible, seen only for your bad deeds, by a society who _expects_ you to become the villain.  And when you do, the only person who supports you is a false brother who believes you to be something you were not, and can never be,” Loki seethed.  “Stop pretending you understand, because it is a _lie_.  The mighty Thor can never understand what it is to exist so low.”

 

Perhaps it was the fog in his head from Loki’s grip around his throat, or simply all the pieces finally falling together, but Thor suddenly realised the purpose of Odin’s plan.

 

It wasn’t just about Loki knowing how it felt to be superior to his brother; it was about Thor knowing suffering in the way Loki had, and feeling utterly helpless to stop it.

 

He was meant to hurt, meant to reach rock bottom here on Midgard.  And Loki was meant to be there to see it.

 

Loki’s hand loosened its grip and Thor took a deep breath, his head now spinning with uneasy thoughts.  He wasn’t at his lowest yet – he had a feeling he still had a long way to go down before he got there.  And he would need to push Loki a lot more to do it.

 

“Then perhaps you should show me,” Thor said.  “For I still believe there is good in you, and you would never wish such suffering on me as you experienced.”

 

Loki’s grin was all teeth, still blood-stained.

 

“Oh, wouldn’t I?  You’re willing to risk your own sanity to test that theory?”

 

Thor stared long at him.

 

“Yes.  Even you are not yet _that_ cruel – not to your own brother.”

 

Loki sneered.

 

“Ah, but you forget – I no longer consider you my brother.”

 

“Even still.”

 

Loki laughed.

 

“Dear Thor, that sounds like a challenge.”

 

“It is.”

 

Loki tutted.

 

“Still you make such poor decisions.  You _really_ haven’t been paying attention to anything I’ve done these last years, have you?”

 

He brought his face close to Thor’s, their noses almost touching.

 

“Such sentiment will prove your downfall,” he murmured.  “I will take pleasure in breaking you.”

 

Thor’s stomach turned at Loki’s words, but he refused to back down.  He would endure anything to save his brother.

 

“So be it,” he replied.

 

Loki grinned.

 

*

 

At first, Thor couldn’t quite work out if Loki was following through on his threats.

 

His behaviour seemed much the same as before – in fact, he was _less_ violent if anything.  He continued to assist on missions and was gradually allowed to help on the front line in battle, much to his delight.  It was then that Thor realised what he was up to.

 

Loki could be quite charming when he put his mind to it, and day by day, he began to win over each one of the Avengers.  They would never trust him completely of course, but they started to come around to the idea that he was of more use than they initially believed.

 

During combat, Loki would focus on defending them: erecting magical barriers, conjuring decoys, and providing cover.  More than once his assistance allowed them to emerge from battle with little more than a few bruises, and even Fury seemed impressed.

 

The Midgardians appreciated Loki, praised him now, and in turn Loki was gracious and respectful.  That was when Thor knew it was a ploy, for as soon as they returned to their chambers, Loki was as disdainful and proud as always.

 

“I could have slaughtered all their foes in one stroke today,” Loki informed him, as they walked through the door.

 

Thor eyed him, shrugging off the combat garment Fury insisted he wear.  It was a condition of him fighting on the front line, and Natasha had assured him that all those without powers were required to wear it.  He’d grudgingly accepted.

 

Loki’s words were an obvious provocation, but Thor took the bait anyway.

 

“Then why didn’t you?”

 

Loki chuckled.  “I thought they might get a little angry, seeing as they prefer to incapacitate.  And I don’t want that – they’re just starting to like me.”

 

His grin was wicked, and not at all sincere.

 

“You do not care if they like you.  What game are you playing, Loki?”

 

Loki threw his gauntlets down on the table and set his knives next to them.

 

“Maybe I’ve had a change of heart and decided I want to be friends with them.”

 

“You have not.”

 

Loki’s expression was one of mock offense.  “Such little faith.  I thought you believed there was good in me?”

 

“This is too quick a change.  It’s a ruse.”

 

Thor pulled off his shirt, his skin still damp with sweat.

“Well, maybe it is.  But what will you do about it?  Tell your precious Avengers that they were wrong, and they should stop letting me help?” he asked.  “Because one word from you and they’ll turn on me, exile me, and we’ll be back where we started on Asgard.  And the humans will go back to being slaughtered by their enemies with no help from us.”

 

Thor glared at him.  “Then tell me what you plan.”

 

Loki smirked.  “And _why_ would I do that?”

 

Thor crossed his arms over his chest, staring down his brother.

 

“Say you will not hurt them, then.  Promise me that at least.”

 

This drew a snort from Loki, and he wandered over to lounge in one of their wooden chairs.

 

“I promise nothing,” he replied.  “But take heart – remember that it’s not them I’m trying to break.  It’s _you_.”

 

“But you will use them to get to me.”

 

“Oh, _will_ I now?”  Loki tutted.  “So many assumptions.  You shouldn’t try to decipher my plans – you don’t possess the intelligence for that.”

 

Thor backhanded a cup off the table in frustration.

 

Loki laughed and turned his attention to his book.

 

*

 

As Loki became more helpful to the Avengers, he became more of a hindrance to Thor.  He started to deflect all foes that engaged Thor in battle, casting them aside into unconsciousness or driving them away to face other allies.

 

Thor was initially grateful of the respite in conflict; in this mortal form, he didn’t possess the stamina and strength he used to.  But it soon became apparent that Loki was guiding _all_ enemies away from him, so much so that the former Thunder God was left standing around uselessly in the middle of the battlefield.

 

Returning from another mission through the lower levels of the Helicarrier, Thor voiced his protest.

 

“I want you to stop these games, Loki, and let me fight.”

 

Loki feigned innocence in front of the Avengers.  “What do you mean?  I’m only helping as requested.”

 

Thor growled in frustration, advancing on his brother as they entered the armoury.  He could feel the eyes of the others on him.

 

“No.  You are intentionally causing mischief.”

 

“By protecting my own brother?”

 

Thor clenched his teeth.  He wished the other Avengers realised Loki’s reference to him as kin was a sure sign of deception.  But Natasha was not there this time, nor was Bruce - and they were the two mostly likely to perceive Loki’s cunning.

 

“Your protection is a ploy to make me seem inferior in battle.”

 

Loki shrugged off his coat, the others also removing their armour and weapons to begin packing them away.

 

“I’m sorry you feel that way – I’m only doing what you asked.”

 

Steve set his shield on its hook and nudged Thor with his elbow.

 

“He has a point.  Maybe he’s being a bit annoying, but he _is_ defending you.  Defending all of us, in fact.  I’ll take that over him as our enemy any day.”

 

Thor stared at him, then threw a hand up in frustration.

 

“Do you not see that this is one of his tricks?”  He turned to Clint.  “Barton, surely _you_ see through this?”

 

Clint shrugged.  “You’re the one who insisted he help us to start with.  And so far, he’s done what he’s said,” he replied.  “It doesn’t mean I still don’t want to plunge an arrow through his smug face, but is it really worth getting rid of him now just for being a pain in the ass?  If we followed that rule, Stark would’ve been kicked out a long time ago.”

 

Tony smirked as he rolled one of his shoulders, his mechanical armour already removed by remote as soon as they’d exited the quinjet.

 

“I resent that,” he objected.  “Not on the basis of being a pain in the ass – which I freely admit to by the way – but on comparing me to Loki.  I like to think I bring a little more style to raging egomania than reindeer boy here.”

 

Loki laughed, unlacing his gauntlets.  “I still believe you’re jealous that my helmet has horns and yours doesn’t,” he remarked.  “Don’t you humans have a saying about that sort of masculine envy?”

 

Tony sniffed.  “None of my ladies have complained so far.”

 

“Nor mine,” Loki responded.  “Or men, for that matter.”

 

Steve frowned, and Clint wrinkled his nose.  Tony seemed non-plussed.

 

“You know, that does explain a few things,” Tony said.  “The immaculate grooming, flamboyant clothes, a flair for the dramatic…”

 

“Tony, even _I_ know it’s rude to stereotype people based on who they choose to spend time with,” Steve said.  “Besides, it’s nobody’s business but Loki’s.”

 

“Yeah, can we _stop_ talking about Loki’s sex life, please?” Clint added.  “And anyone else’s, actually.”

 

“Oh, that’s right,” Loki grinned.  “You people are _so_ delicate about sex.  Well, most of you.  I suppose that’s one aspect of Stark I don’t thoroughly abhor.”

 

“Why thank you,” Tony replied, his grin matching Loki’s.

 

Loki’s gaze whipped up and down his form.  “You’re welcome.”

 

Clint rolled his eyes.  “Get a room,” he quipped.  “Preferably a long way from mine.”

 

Loki had quirked an eyebrow now, the tip of his tongue coming to rest against the back of his teeth.

 

Tony snorted, shaking his head.  “Ah, I don’t roll that way, sorry buddy,” he said.  “And even if I did, I think Pepper might object to bringing a genocidal alien into our bed.”

 

Thor’s eyes widened as Loki’s tongue slid out to run along his bottom lip.

 

“Shame.  I _was_ a little curious about bedding Midgardians,” he ruminated.  “It’s probably for the best though – I’m not sure your flimsy human bodies could cope with Jotun vigour.”

 

Stark nodded in Steve’s direction.  “Cap there might do alright.”

 

Steve turned a noticeable shade of red.  Thor could see him staring  at Tony in disbelief.

“No.”  He flicked a glance at Loki.  “ _No_.  Do not bring me into this.  I’m out.  You guys are–”

 

He didn’t finish, just shook his head and made a hasty exit from the armoury.

 

Clint snorted.  “Yeah, he really doesn’t like talking about that stuff.  Still used to a different time, I think.  I’d also guess a lack of familiarity - if you know what I mean.”

 

Thor didn’t like the predatory look on Loki’s face.

 

“Oh, a virgin?” Loki grinned.  “I could certainly have fun with that.”

 

Tony shook a finger at him.  “No.  Bad god.  No deflowering the great American hero,” he scolded.  “I know you guys are used to raping and pillaging, but you’re not allowed to do that anymore.”

 

Loki scoffed.  “I wouldn’t be so crass as to _force_ him.  It would be far more entertaining to have him ask me.”  He tipped his head, smirking.  “Or beg.”

 

“I can’t really see that, I have to say,” Tony replied.  “Not sure he’d go for a _guy_ , let alone one from another planet who tried to kill him on more than one occasion.”

 

Loki gave a coy smile.  “Well, I possess many skills that could in fact persuade him.  They don’t call me silver-tongue for nothing.”

 

Tony stared at him a moment before speaking curtly.  “Yep, okay, I’m done.  He’s all yours, Barton.”

 

And with that, he turned on his heel and strode from the room, his voice echoing down the corridor as he spoke to JARVIS through his earpiece.

 

Clint gave Loki a pointed look.  “Don’t be getting any ideas about me, either.”

 

“It’s alright, Agent Barton.  I already know you’re not a virgin, nor interested in men,” Loki replied.  “Though, I _do_ recall you telling me about that one encounter as a young recruit - not _technically_ intercourse, I suppose, but-”

 

“You’re such an asshole,” Clint growled, his cheeks flushed.

 

Loki grinned.  “Well, yes.  You knew that.”

 

“Yeah, I did.”  Clint flipped him off, and then took his leave.

 

Thor was left with his brother in the armoury, a little dumbfounded.  Since his initial outburst, he’d hardly spoken a word - and no-one had even seemed to notice.  Clint, Tony, and even Steve had focused on Loki during the conversation, as though Thor were not in the room with them.

 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so invisible.

 

Thor looked over at his brother, a grim expression on his face.  He left without a word.

 

*

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor gets a glimpse of what Loki is prepared to do in order to break him, and it isn't exactly what he'd thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone was reading this fic when I first posted it, you'll need to go back and re-read the last chapter as I've added more to it.

~*~ 

 

Thor knew he should be glad Loki was getting along with his human friends; it was, after all, what he’d wanted.  But the way Loki went about it left a bitter taste in his mouth.  He was deliberately making Thor feel excluded as he captured their attention, making them think he genuinely didn’t mind their company.

 

The verbal sparring with Tony continued, to the point where Thor could see Loki openly  _ flirting  _ with him, much to Thor’s dismay.  Tony, on the other hand, seemed to find it amusing, apparently unaware of how dangerous Loki could be, even in that regard.  Steve was pleased Loki was trying to be part of the team, and no matter how many times Thor warned him it was only part of a scheme, the Captain remained optimistic.

 

“At least it’s better than the alternative,” he insisted.

 

Clint still disliked Loki, but clearly viewed him as an asset they could use for their own purposes, and was therefore willing to put up with him.  Bruce, at least, remained suspicious, though he tended to keep his opinions to himself and didn’t openly object to Loki’s assistance.  As a result, Thor’s frustration with his brother largely fell on deaf ears, the other Avengers assuming Thor was just getting testy due to sibling rivalry.

 

Only Natasha was sympathetic.  Not because she felt sorry for him, but because she knew Loki always had some larger purpose for what he did. It was apparent she hadn’t figured out exactly what that was yet, much like Thor, and so continued to keep an eye on Loki and did not let her guard down.  This meant she was well aware of every provocation directed at Thor, no matter how subtle, and saw the way his frustration grew daily.

 

Especially when Loki took it upon himself to not only direct battle away from his brother, but also blatantly protect him from it.

 

Help from other warriors in battle was not inherently shameful – it was a prideful fool who rejected such assistance – but the manner in which Loki went about it was intentionally humiliating.  On more than one occasion, he took hold of the back of Thor’s vest and lifted him clean off the ground, as one would a child.  It gave the appearance of heroism, by removing him from the line of fire, but was merely an excuse to bring Thor close and hold him back from the fight.  Thor roared and struck his brother in an attempt to escape his grasp, but it was to no avail; his diminished mortal strength was no match for Loki’s Jotun power.  And every time, Loki would simply flash him a sly smile, and go on to defeat their opponents one-handed, with Thor virtually tucked under his arm.

 

After the third instance of this, Thor finally snapped.

 

Loki had returned them directly to their chambers from battle via his shadow paths, and Thor let loose a string of curses as soon they arrived.  By the time he was done, his throat hurt from all the shouting.

 

Loki simply watched with a false expression of innocence and shock on his face, as though he had no idea what Thor was so upset about.  This only enraged him further.

 

He struck Loki as hard as he could, though his brother barely seemed to register it.  A smile twitched at the corner of his lips instead.  Thor knew Loki was getting the exact response he wanted, but he couldn’t help himself.  There was only so much persistent provocation he could take.

 

“Cease with this mockery, Loki,” he snapped.  “You bring shame upon both of us with such childish behaviour.”

 

Loki quirked an eyebrow, pacing slowly toward the wooden chairs.  He settled down in one, legs spread and posture relaxed.

 

“That’s funny, I don’t  _ feel  _ ashamed.”

 

Thor glared at him.  “You should.  Such pettiness is dishonourable for an Asgardian warrior.”

 

Loki smirked.  “You forget – I’m not Asgardian.  And even if I were, I still wouldn’t care.  It’s  _ you _ that values honour, not me.”

 

“Then let me have mine.”

 

It was foolish to request such compassion from Loki, but he had to try.  Unsurprisingly, Loki was unyielding.

 

“No.  I don’t think I will.”

 

“Why?  Do you not think I’ve endured enough of this humiliation?”

 

Thor was the one engaging in deliberate provocation now.  Loki’s expression turned hard, and he was upon Thor in an instant, hand wrapped around his throat and face a hair’s breadth away.

 

“You have no concept of humiliation if you believe this to be intolerable.  I’ve endured an entire lifetime of it from you and your  _ honourable _ Asgardians, and been  _ alone _ in my suffering.  I was never granted leniency, and neither do you deserve any.”

 

At this, Thor remembered his suspicions about his father’s intentions for the two of them.  He was supposed to be experiencing the darkness his brother had, and clearly Loki didn’t believe he’d come anywhere near it yet.  But he was starting to see just how Loki had fallen into madness, if he’d had to bear such conditions all by himself.  Thor wasn’t sure how  _ he  _ was going to emerge from all of this with his mind intact.  Though, perhaps he wasn’t.

 

“You never asked for help.  I didn’t know you were suffering, and had you told me, I would have been there for you, Brother.”

 

Again, the words were designed to inflame, and they quickly served their purpose.  Loki’s fingers tightened on Thor’s throat and his jaw became a hard line, eyes ablaze.

 

“Any time I defended my skills of subterfuge and magic, you laughed in my face and let your friends mock me.  You were not there when I needed you most, not  _ once _ – no matter how clear my distress.  Your own amusement at my expense was far more important.”

 

Loki’s grip was firm, but Thor could still speak.  “We were not so cruel – you exaggerate, Loki.  It wasn’t as if we beat you.”

 

The dismissal of Loki’s pain worked far better than Thor could’ve imagined.  Loki’s expression turned to utterly enraged disgust, and he threw Thor hard against the wall, the force cracking the stone behind.  Thor lost his vision for several moments, slumping to the ground and tasting blood in his mouth.  There was a sharp pain across one side of his back, and he suspected several of his ribs were broken.

 

When he looked up, he saw Loki advancing on him again, apparently undeterred by the blood that flowed from his own mouth and also down his temple.

 

“You still don’t believe that there is suffering far worse than mere physical pain, yet you request clemency for your honour so early,” he spat.  “I will show you true humiliation, Odinson.  When I am done, you will be  _ begging _ for a beating.”

 

By this time he had Thor by the throat again, pressed against the wall.  Thor wasn’t sure he’d ever seen his brother so angry before; it was both terrifying and oddly gratifying.  It was, after all, what he’d intended.

 

Thor swallowed, speaking with much more difficulty now, and his lips were slippery with blood.

 

“Yet you continue to injure, rather than shame me.  You always did like to bluff.”

 

Loki laughed, half-mad, and loosened his hold on Thor’s neck.  “Bluff?  Oh no, not this time.”  He tipped his head.  “Here, let me show you.”

 

His hand slipped around the back of Thor’s neck and he dragged him, stumbling, to the middle of the room.  There he pushed Thor to his knees, standing in front and looking down at him.  Loki’s eyes gleamed, the sheer rage now distilled into determined spite.  Thor couldn’t deny the way his pulse began to race in response.

 

“Nervous, Brother?”

 

Thor’s heart twinged at Loki’s very deliberate wording.  He took a breath, steeling himself.

 

“When have you ever known me to be nervous?” he replied, equally deliberately.

 

Loki’s grin was all teeth, stained in blood.

 

Thor flinched and tried to wrench away as Loki released a slow glob of red spit from his mouth down toward his brother.  But Loki held fast to his head, and the saliva landed with a splat upon the lower part of his cheek.  Thor grimaced and Loki chuckled, his thumb coming across in what Thor assumed to be a gesture to wipe it away.  Instead, he smeared it towards Thor’s mouth, and Thor cried out, struggling harder this time to escape Loki’s torments.  But he stood no chance against the superior strength of his brother, who held him down firmly at the shoulder with one hand, while the other pushed the spit obscenely over his lips.  Thor tried to bite down on Loki’s thumb, but this only allowed the trickster to shove it into his mouth, mixing with his own saliva and blood.  He growled and spat, trying to shake his head back and forth, Loki laughing at him all the while.

 

When Loki was finally done, Thor was left heaving and red-faced.

 

“You are vile,” Thor grunted.

 

Loki snorted.  “I do believe you’ve had worse things in your mouth than my blood and spit, Thor,” he replied.  “We  _ did _ grow up together, as you yourself like to point out.  And your escapades haven’t always been so innocent.”

 

“You cannot compare them to  _ this _ .  You are my  _ brother _ .”

 

Loki’s laugh was chilling.  “Oh, but I’m not.  And that’s the point here.”

 

Thor didn’t like what Loki was implying.  As if following his train of thought, Loki laughed again and then pulled Thor’s chin up with a rough hand.  He stared down at him, studying his face, though his own expression was unreadable.

 

“I still consider us kin, Loki, even if you are being vile.”

 

Loki’s grin widened.  “I was hoping you’d say that.”

 

Thor furrowed his brow.  Loki’s gaze shifted to his neck, where he took a handful of Thor’s vest in a tight grip.  With comical ease, he ripped it open, tearing it all the way down until it came apart at Thor’s navel.  Thor didn’t know what the purpose of it was, other than to be childish.  Which, upon reflection,  _ could _ be the purpose.  But Loki lifted his hand to the shoulder now, and tore it again, the fabric coming away in his grip like parchment.  He repeated these actions until Thor’s tunic was nothing more than scraps in his lap and upon the ground.  He then did the same to the protective vest underneath.

 

Thor let out a sigh, puzzled.  “I have other clothing,” he said.  “Destroying this doesn’t upset me.”

 

“No, I didn’t imagine it would.”

 

“Then what did you do it for?”

 

Loki grinned and took him behind the head again, fingernails scraping against his scalp.  He yanked Thor to a standing position and then man-handled him to face the other direction.

 

“What are you–?”

 

Thor didn’t finish his thought, because Loki had grabbed the back of his trousers and began to tear at them now.  Thor huffed and tried to stop him, though was unsurprised when it proved futile.

 

“ _ Loki _ .”  His tone was admonishing, rather than angry or upset, and he still remained confused about Loki’s intentions.

 

Eventually, Loki reduced all of his clothes to a pile of useless fabric at his ankles, and Thor just shook his head.

 

“Is this intended to shame me?  If so, it’s not working – my nakedness doesn’t bother me,” he informed him.  “I am a warrior – I am proud of my body.  You should know that.”

 

Neither was he embarrassed to be such in front of Loki – he had been many times before today.

 

“Oh yes, I do know.  That’s why it’s the perfect target.”

 

Thor became unsettled.  Loki had great skill in magic, but surely he couldn’t permanently alter Thor’s physical form in any way, could he?

 

“You intend to mutilate me, then?”

 

But Loki just snorted, and Thor could imagine the expression of mockery on his face.

 

“I could’ve done that at any time, and would no doubt suffer far more disfiguration than I inflicted.  I’m not particularly keen on that idea,” he said.  “Besides, it’s far too mundane for you to feel  _ truly _ humiliated.”

 

Thor knew he wasn’t meant to find that comforting.

 

Loki went on.  “I’ve always known your pride is your undoing.  Though you’ve learnt to curb your recklessness, that need to defend your honour still remains.”

 

Loki’s hand weighed heavily on his shoulder, and there was little he could do as he was forced to his knees again.  Thor scowled, uncertain, as he felt Loki’s lips at his ear.

 

“I intend to free you from that.  You won’t even remember what honour felt like when this is over.”

 

Before Thor could even speculate about what that meant, Loki took him by his hair and shoved him forward.  He found himself on his hands and knees, with Loki’s hand on the back of his neck, holding him in place.  He felt his brother’s hot breath against his cheek as he struggled to get up, again to no avail.

 

“The first part is understanding how worthless you are, that you are nothing but an animal upon the ground,” Loki growled.  “This is what you have always deserved, because it’s how you treat others.  They’ve felt like nothing more than common beasts compared to you.”

 

Thor fought again, trying to claw at Loki with one hand, then the other.  All this resulted in was Loki pinning his wrists to the ground instead, his chest braced over Thor’s shoulders.  Thor threw his head back in an attempt to hit him in the face, but Loki was unruffled, and headbutted Thor in retaliation.  They both spat blood a moment later, Loki’s a warm drip on the back of his neck.

 

“You’ll begin to understand how it feels to be so trapped, to feel so pathetic and useless.  And that there’s someone that could stop all of it at any moment.  Someone that’s supposed to protect you, to  _ love _ you.  But they don’t.  They  _ won’t _ .  They prefer to leave you humiliated instead.”

 

Thor let out a garbled noise of protest as he felt Loki’s hand leave his wrist to grab hold of his thigh, and push his legs further apart.  He was forced down onto his forearms as his knees slid wide, his body horrifyingly open.

 

“Loki,  _ please _ !”

 

He didn’t know what he was asking, but he knew the situation wasn’t heading anywhere good.

 

“What?” Loki snapped.  “Suddenly too much for you delicate sense of pride?”  Thor felt the vibration of Loki’s laugh against his back.  “I’m only just getting started.  There’s  _ much _ more fun to be had than this.  Though, I’m glad to see how quickly you’re yielding already; I didn’t think you were this squeamish about being rendered vulnerable.”

 

Thor’s face grew hot as Loki shifted to reposition his body flush with Thor’s.  His knees kept Thor’s wide, the fabric of his breeches warm against Thor’s bare thighs and arse.  Much to his horror, Loki’s hips didn’t shy away from him, but instead seemed to deliberately push against him in the most undignified manner.

 

It was so disconcerting that Thor could barely choke out a protest.  “ _ Loki _ .”

 

His brother laughed again, and this time Thor felt his lips brush the back of his neck.

 

“I thought I was going to have to do a lot more to truly shame you, but perhaps not.  What is it about this that you find so degrading?  Surely you’ve had others in a position no less humbling?”

 

Thor scowled, trying to compose himself.  Though, this was proving difficult, given the way Loki was pressed against him in this nude state.

 

“I inflicted no such humiliation.”

 

“So, you’ve never taken anyone like this?”

 

Thor didn’t reply, and he knew Loki was grinning.

 

“Of course you have.  So, what’s the difference?”

 

“You are my  _ brother _ .”

 

“And if I wasn’t, this wouldn’t be humiliating?”

 

Thor fell silent again.  It would be, and that was Loki’s point.  But he wasn’t willing to let Loki hear it from his own mouth.  Not that it mattered all that much, because Loki clearly already knew.

 

“You’re entirely willing to let others be shamed, submissive, but refuse to accept it for yourself,” Loki continued.  “I intend to remove such arrogance from you, by any means necessary.”

 

He leaned forward to press his hips more firmly against Thor’s arse, and Thor struggled uselessly again.

 

“Stop!   _ Don’t _ .  This is madness.”  It came out breathless, panicked, and Thor cringed.  It was never a good idea to show weakness when Loki was in a mood like this.

 

“No.  This is about teaching you shame, as I said before.  It’s good for you.  It’s instructive.”

 

“It’s  _ incestuous _ ,” Thor hissed.

 

Loki laughed, full and harsh.  “Only if I fucked you.”

 

Thor stilled at this, no longer fighting his brother.  Loki chuckled again and then spoke against Thor’s cheek.

 

“Oh, that frightens you, doesn’t it?  Being claimed by someone you thought you could trust.  And a  _ lesser _ man than you.  I wonder how you would live with yourself after feeling such dishonour?  Knowing your body has been degraded, sullied, in such a way.”

 

Thor didn’t provide an answer, largely because he didn’t have one.  He’d never really experienced this type of fear before, because he’d been too powerful for such a situation to be considered.  Now, in his weakened state, it was a real threat.

 

“Fortunately for you, I don’t much feel like fucking at the moment,” Loki said.  “Just seeing you so very unsettled like this is satisfaction enough for me.  I’ll save the violation for an occasion when I  _ really _ need it.”

 

Thor wasn’t sure if this was all just a game - if Loki was saying all these things purely to scare him, or if he would truly go through with it.  He had faith in his brother, but he was under no illusions as to how far Loki would go to prove a point.

 

“This, what you’re doing now, is still violation, Loki.  It’s no better than if you  _ were _ to take me.”

 

As expected, Loki chuckled.  “That’s true.  Having you will be  _ much  _ better than this.”

 

Thor thrashed hopelessly as he felt Loki’s index and middle finger trace a line up the inside of his thigh, creeping dangerously close to something his brother should never touch.

 

“Loki– you cannot–!” he choked.

 

Loki’s lips were back at his ear again, his breath hot enough to make Thor shudder.  “I  _ can _ ,” he told him.  “I can do what I want.”

 

His fingers stopped just shy of Thor’s cock, and Thor found himself shaking with relief.  Then Loki pulled back abruptly from his position, releasing Thor’s pinned hands and sitting back on his heels.  For a moment, Thor thought it was over.  But then, Loki had him by the hair again, yanking his head back and twisting it to bring their faces close.

 

“Remember that,” Loki growled.  “You are  _ mine,  _ to do with as I please.”

 

He let go of Thor, shoving him away so he fell down into a heap.  By the time Thor had gathered his wits and pulled himself up, Loki was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor spends some time with the other Avengers, who are a little more interested in his relationship with Loki than he'd like.

***

 

The next morning, Thor was down in the main kitchen of Stark Tower preparing a late breakfast when Bruce turned up.  He hadn’t seen him in person for a few days, the scientist apparently working on an important project across town.  The fact that he was back here now, and in the same part of the building as Thor, at this time of day, was surely no coincidence.

 

Thor continued to assemble his sandwich, throwing Banner a smile and greeting him as he entered.

 

“Good morning.  I’m almost done here, but can make you some food too if you’d like?”

 

Bruce approached with his usual uncertain demeanour, one hand clasped around the other in front of him.

 

“Ah, no, thank you.  I already ate.”

 

He moved closer to the kitchen counter and took a seat on one of the bar stools.

 

“How’s your work going?” Thor asked, stalling.

 

“My work is fine,” Bruce replied.  He took a breath.  “Listen, I hate to do this to you.  But Tony called me and asked if I could come back and talk to you.  Actually, I wouldn’t even say he  _ asked  _ \- more like annoyed the hell out of me until I was too tired to keep arguing with him about it.  Well, that, and Nat with her damn spy-level manipulation making me feel bad if I said no.”

 

“Talk to me about what, exactly?”

 

Bruce pressed his lips together.  “You and your brother.”

 

Thor’s heart stuttered, and he felt suddenly sick.  “What about us?”

 

“Those bruises in the shape of a handprint on your throat for a start.”

 

Thor let out a breath.  Bruce went on.

 

“And the broken ribs you turned up with at the medical station this morning,” he said.  “Tony also said JARVIS detected damage to a wall on your floor.  Not just minor stuff either - he said the whole stone was cracked, like something had been thrown against it.  Or some _ one _ .”

 

Thor stared down at his food.  They didn’t know everything, which was a relief.  But even a little suspicion was too much.

 

He replied without looking up.  “We just had a disagreement that got out of hand.  It’s fine.  I’m fine.”

 

He heard Bruce sigh.

 

“You know, in this country we can be pretty shitty about acting on violence in family situations.  We think it’s not our business.  Or we just really haven’t got any idea what to do about it when we see it,” Bruce said.  “But you’re our friend - you’re  _ my  _ friend.  And this is bad.  I don’t want to sit by and pretend like it’s not happening.”

 

Thor lifted his head now, sighing too.  “Really, it’s okay.  You know Loki has his magical binding, so he’s not going to kill me.”

 

“He’s still hurting you, though.”

 

“And he gets hurt in return.”

 

“Yeah, that doesn’t seem to be a deterrent,” Bruce pointed out.  “I don’t really want your dad coming to Earth and demanding to know why we didn’t stop one of his sons kicking the crap out of the other.  I don’t need that kind of stress.”

 

Thor gave a wry smile.  “My father is the one who came up with this punishment.  You don’t think he considered this very scenario?”

 

Bruce’s expression was uneasy.  “You know that’s messed up, right?”

 

“Maybe so.  But it’s what he believes is necessary.”  He sighed again.  “And I’m beginning to see the wisdom in it myself.”

 

“Surely you don’t  _ have  _ to sacrifice your well-being to save your brother.  There’s got to be another way.”

 

“And if there isn’t?”

 

Bruce shrugged.  “Well, I mean, I could at least give him some payback, if you want.  I generally prefer to bring out The Other Guy for global emergencies only, but I think I could make an exception for Loki.”

 

He was half-smiling, and Thor couldn’t help but return it.

 

“Thank you for the offer, but I will be alright.”

 

“You’re sure?”

 

“I’m sure.”

 

Bruce shrugged.  “Well, I tried,” he said.  “And please tell Tony and Nat I tried, or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

 

“I’ll do that.”

 

Bruce nodded and then headed out of the kitchen, leaving him alone.

 

Thor stared at his sandwich.  Suddenly, he didn’t feel hungry anymore.

 

* 

 

Thor wasn’t generally one for deep reflection, but he found himself thinking a lot about the humiliation incident with Loki.  Violence he could endure well enough, but this was something else.  He knew a large part of what had happened was simply threat and mind games; Loki was a master of manipulation, and it was all designed to unsettle and provoke him.  The carnal act of domination wasn’t even needed to produce the desired effect, and surely Loki knew that.  And yet, Thor wondered if Loki would do it anyway, just because he could.

 

And if he did, what did that say about him?  What kind of person gained satisfaction from forcing themselves on their own sibling?  Thor knew his brother was broken and unpredictable, but he didn’t think he’d discarded  _ all  _ decency.

 

And yet, the more Thor considered it, the more he started to think the idea wasn’t entirely immoral - at least from Loki’s perspective.  To him, they had never truly been brothers, and certainly hadn’t shared that familial bond in many years.  Thor was his rival, and a threat - the act of penetration would demonstrate a power over him that Loki had always craved.  It could, perhaps, finally placate all of his rage and resentment.

 

Unfortunately, there was no way of knowing without pushing Loki further, and living with the consequences.  Thor hadn’t yet decided if he was willing to pay that price.

 

It was a lot to ask.

 

Still, he had time to think it over, as Loki made no effort to repeat the incident in the following few days.  That wasn’t to say Loki behaved himself - far from it.  He continued to sabotage Thor’s battles, and still treated him like a helpless maiden in need of protection.  This apparently didn’t go unnoticed by Director Fury, because more and more Thor found himself not being invited along on missions and assignments.  When he questioned it, Fury offered only explanations about operational efficiency and team focus.  Thor could read between the lines well enough, but without a solution to Loki’s mischief, there was little way to argue against it.

  
Thor decided to work out his frustration in the training room.  If he couldn’t engage in battle, he could at least be prepared and in the correct frame of mind for any future deployments.

  
When he arrived, he found Natasha there already, honing her skills on a practice dummy.  He paused in the doorway, unsure if he should disturb her.  She spotted him as she finished off a hard, high kick, and nodded, acknowledging his presence.

 

“Come to join me?” she asked.

 

Thor stepped inside.   
  
“I don’t wish to interrupt your training.”

  
The corners of her mouth tilted up with the hint of a smile.   
  


“I could use a sparring partner, actually,” she said.  “If you’re up for it, of course.”   
  


Thor smiled.  “Of course.”   
  


She nodded again and began packing away the dummy as Thor readied himself.  Now they were alone together, his conversation with Banner regarding he and Loki immediately sprang to the front of his mind.  Natasha hadn’t mentioned it at all, hadn’t behaved differently in the last few days; if she had any concerns about what was going on, she wasn’t voicing them.

 

Thor unzipped his hoodie, discarding it to one side along with his shoes, and tied his hair back.  When he turned around again, Natasha had retrieved two short staffs.  She threw him one as he stepped onto the training floor.

 

“So, are we playing this friendly, or do you want a challenge?” she asked.

 

“I won’t hold back if you don’t,” he replied, with a smile.

 

Natasha returned his smile now, raising an eyebrow.  Then she swung her stick swiftly at him, barely giving him enough time to lift his own to parry it.  Thor grinned.   
  
She was a quick and capable warrior, and he knew her methods were quite different to any he had encountered on Asgard, or other realms.  Despite the time he had spent on Midgard recently, he hadn’t had much of a chance to face her in training; he was glad for the opportunity now.

  
Thor struck back from her first blow, and they began a swift sparring – all short, sharp hits and abrupt changes of position.  It was indeed a challenge, as she’d promised, and after several minutes, he found himself out of breath and damp with sweat.

  
“I appreciate this,” Natasha said, as they paused to prepare for another bout.  “Don’t get much practice with the others.  Clint and I know each other too well, it’s boring.  And Bruce and Steve still worry about hurting me.”

  
She smirked, and Thor scoffed.  “Surely not because you are a woman?”

 

“I don’t think so.  More likely their own issues.”

  
Thor nodded, wiping his throat down with a towel.  “And Stark?”

 

Natasha smiled at this.  “I think he still remembers the time I put his bodyguard on his ass in the ring.  He’s smart enough to know his own limits.”

 

They stopped chatting to begin again, Thor bringing his thoughts back to combat.  He blocked one of Natasha’s hits and swung his other arm to deliver a blow to her shoulder, knocking her off balance.  He moved in for a disabling strike but she was too fast.  She righted herself before taking his feet out from under him, his stick rolling to one side.  She moved to pin him to the ground, but Thor was ready; he used his knee to flick her off and roll over, pressing her face-first into the mat.  Her stick went scuttling sideways.  She struggled and managed to strike him with her limbs a few times, but Thor held her fast, using his weight to its full advantage.

 

“Do you yield?” he asked, breathless.   
  


Natasha peered at him from under several sweat-soaked locks, a smile upon her mouth.   
  


“Yeah, I yield.”   
  


Thor released her and pulled her to her feet.  She dusted herself off, pushing back her hair and retrieving their sticks from the floor.   
  


“I could do with a few more sessions of this,” Natasha said.  “Learning to counter a new fighting style will be invaluable for me.  You know, in case any Asgardians try to invade Earth again.”   
  


Thor gave a dry smile, wiping himself down again and taking a seat upon the steps nearby.

 

“I doubt that will happen again anytime soon,” he said.  “Besides, my brother no longer considers himself Asgardian, so I suppose you were never invaded by one to begin with.”

 

Natasha came to sit beside him.  “What _does_ he consider himself then?”  
  
“Jotun, I suppose,” Thor said.  “Though he has no loyalty to them, either.  I’m not sure he truly knows where he belongs.”  
  
“That’s always a tough way to face the world.”  
  
“You say that like its familiar.”  
  
Natasha’s small smile returned.  “I recognise more in Loki than I’d like to, that’s for sure.”  
  
Thor sighed.  “And I wish I recognised _more_ in him.  It’s supposed to have been the purpose of our time on Earth – for me to understand him and help him heal.  Yet I feel just as distant and perplexed as ever.”  
  
“I thought the purpose was for Loki to make amends?”  
  
“That’s part of it.  But my father’s plans are never simple.  There are more layers here than even I am aware of.  Though, with the way Loki is, and the turbulence of my relationship with him, there wouldn’t _be_ an easy solution here.”  
  
Natasha seemed amused by this.  “Yeah, the two of you, you’re definitely… unique.”  
  


Something about her words made Thor uneasy.  She could’ve been referring to Loki’s recent physical abuse of him, but it didn’t quite seem like it; surely she would just state that they were antagonistic and violent with one another if that’s what she meant.  It wasn’t as if it were a secret.

 

“You believe us to be strange?” he queried.

 

Natasha shrugged.  “Yeah, if you want to put it like that.”  She tipped her head slightly.  “But you guys are from another planet.  You live for thousands of years.  I’m from Earth, and only have this perspective.  It’s not surprising your interactions would seem weird to me.”   
  
“In a bad way?” he asked.

 

“Not necessarily.  Just weird in context.”

 

“How so?”

  
Natasha watched him for a few moments, her expression giving nothing away.   
  
“You don’t behave like brothers,” she said finally.   
  
“Then what do we behave like?”

 

She gave a wry smile.  “Not brothers.”

 

Thor frowned.  “That is no explanation.”

 

He didn't like the ambiguity she was displaying; she was too much like Loki in that way as well.

 

“No.  Because I don’t have one.  I’ve got observations, things I see that I try to make sense of.  That’s all.”

  
“Well, what do you think you see?” he asked.

 

“History.  Affection.  Frustration.”  She paused, her gaze flicking away and then back again.  “There’s a fire between you.”

 

It had been many years since he’d thought about how others perceived he and Loki together; everyone on Asgard had known them so long there wasn’t need for explanation.  But here on Earth, it was different - they were still very much strangers to Midgardians in comparison, and their ways alien to them.  Whether Natasha intended it or not, Thor felt a sudden shame about his relationship with Loki, and how that reflected on Asgard.  They’d already appeared selfish and irresponsible in bringing their personal violence to Earth on two separate occasions - he didn’t want to be branded as volatile, petty siblings on top of that.

 

Thor needed to set her straight.

 

“Although we are similar in many ways, Asgardian lives are very different to those of Midgardians,” he explained.  “We spend long years in each other’s company – growing, learning, loving, fighting.  The bonds we develop are strong, and not something easily understandable to those on the outside.”

 

“It might be that I’m seeing,” she said.  “Those deep connections.”

 

“I believe so.”

 

Thor wasn’t exactly convinced, and he didn’t think Natasha was either.  But his explanation seemed to be sufficient for now, because she didn’t pursue it further.

 

She stood up, offering a hand to him.  He took it and rose, thanking her for the training session.

 

“Seriously, anytime you want to do this again, just hit me up,” she smiled.

 

Thor returned the smile and bid her good day.

 

*


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki continues his torment of Thor.

~*~

 

The following day, apparently on a whim, Loki decided it was time to humiliate Thor again.

 

Loki slipped back into their quarters with little fanfare, fresh from a mission with Rogers and Stark.  Thor was in the middle of leafing through some texts on Asgardian gods and tales.  Most of the literature was wrong, of course; the short span of human lives meant their older history was much less reliable, because no-one was still around that remembered it.  Even so, reading about those he knew, battles he’d fought in, was strangely comforting and bittersweet.

 

There were times when he missed Asgard terribly.

 

Thor noticed his brother’s return, but didn’t think much of it until he felt himself be lifted from his chair by the scruff of the neck.  He cried out, the book slipping from his lap to tumble onto the floor.

 

“There’s no use howling, no-one can hear you,” Loki informed him.  “Besides, I’ve not given you anything to truly howl about.  Not yet, at least.”

 

It was laughable how easily Loki could haul him around when he wished to, leaving Thor flailing and scrambling for purchase upon the floor.  He clawed at Loki’s hands as he bore him across the room, though he knew it was fruitless.  He may not be a god any longer, but he would always put up a fight.  And after all, it was what Loki wanted.

 

“And what have I done to draw your wrath now, Brother?” Thor queried.  “Or is it merely my existence that continues to bother you?”

 

Loki chuckled as he tossed Thor down against the window that led to their balcony, the wood and glass rattling with the impact.

 

“You’ve grown quite the sharp tongue lately,” Loki noted.  “Is it too much time spent with me, or your Midgardians?”

 

Thor picked himself up, only to find Loki immediately upon him, pinning him to the wall beside.  He watched his brother’s face, trying to determine exactly what kind of mood he should prepare himself for.

 

“I spent many a year with you before this, so I don’t think it’s your influence,” he replied.

 

Loki smirked.  “Yes, but you never listened to me during those years - not in the way you do now.”

 

“Then you admit I am changed - that I’m not dismissive of you as I once was?”

 

Loki scoffed.  “Only because you _have_ to.  Because you can’t afford to ignore me anymore.  I’m too much of a problem for that now.”

 

Despite being mostly confined, Thor managed to lift a hand to his brother’s jaw.

 

“If that’s why you think I do it, then it’s _you_ who hasn’t been listening.”

 

Loki scowled and jerked his face away, trapping Thor’s arms now so he couldn’t reach up.

 

“Oh, so now the noble Thor has learnt the error of his ways and pays attention to his poor, pathetic little brother?  What is it that makes you think I care about that anymore?”

 

“You have _always_ cared, Loki.  You only pretend otherwise.”

 

Loki bared his teeth and began to claw at Thor’s clothes, as he had done several days earlier.  Only this time he tore them with a significant amount more anger and frustration.

 

“It’s you that’s pretending,” Loki growled.  “Still believing that I want your attention, your approval.”

 

Thor fought back as Loki stripped him down, which, as expected, only encouraged him further.

 

“Because it’s still obvious you do,” Thor told him, slightly breathless.  “I have never doubted your love, Brother.”

 

Loki snorted, as Thor’s garments were rent to pieces once again.

 

“Love?” he said scornfully.  “Is that what you think this is?”

 

Thor’s thoughts returned to his conversation with Natasha.  He lifted his head to meet Loki’s eyes, gaze steady and earnest.

 

“Natasha says there’s fire between us, and she’s right,” he told him.  “And it’s from love this fire comes.”

 

Loki’s expression faltered - just for a moment it wasn’t a mask of malice and mockery.  There was something there that Thor looked a lot like fear, and perhaps guilt, though he couldn’t be sure.

 

Then it was gone, and Loki returned to his mask of contempt.

 

“You are deluded yet again - it is _hate_ , you fool.  It always has been.  Why would you ever think otherwise?”

 

He released Thor from the wall, only to grab him by the hair at the base of his skull, and shove him down onto the floor.

 

“It is love,” Thor insisted, as he fell to his hands and knees.  “You will not convince me it is not.”

 

Loki was over him in a moment, his other hand pushing down on his shoulder.  “Won’t I?”

 

Then his hand vanished from Thor’s shoulder to reappear at his thigh, where the remains of his trousers hung loose.  Loki ripped the rest of it away and then pressed his palm onto the bare flesh beneath.  Thor clenched his jaw as Loki forced his knees apart as before, long fingers curling painfully in his hair to hold him in place.  He struggled, out of instinct more than any expectation of success.

 

“What about now?” Loki asked.  “Exactly how much of my _love_ do you feel in this moment, Thor?”

 

Thor could sense his heart-rate starting to increase, acutely aware of the placement of Loki’s hands on his skin, and the warmth of his body pressed flush against his own.  His brother’s words were supposed to be a stark contrast to the position they were in, and yet, oddly, Thor didn’t feel it as such.

 

“You are _here_.  That is all the proof I need.”

 

Loki let out a growl of annoyance, and pressed down further over him, forcing them closer.  His lips came to Thor’s ear when he spoke.

 

“Here to torment you, shame you,” he murmured.  “You truly are an idiot if you don’t see that.”

 

Thor could only imagine how they looked at that moment - he, naked and cowed, on his hands and knees, covered and constrained by his brother, fully-clothed, in a posture of domination and suggested penetration.  It was everything Thor found degrading, and, he knew, everything that made Loki giddy with power as a result.

 

He wondered briefly if Loki was shielding them from Heimdall’s view, so as not to be prevented from exacting the type of revenge he wanted.  Or if, instead, Heimdall could see them perfectly well, but was under Odin’s orders not to report or intervene.  Thor wasn’t sure which scenario he found more unnerving.

 

“I see it,” Thor replied finally.  “But it’s not so simple.  If there’s one thing I know, Brother, it’s that _you_ are not so simple.”

 

“Maybe so.  But is that really going to be much consolation when I’m making you crawl the dark depths of self-loathing?  I doubt my ‘love’ will mean much then.”

 

Thor lifted his head and turned it to try and look at his brother.  “It will mean all the _more_ then.”

 

Loki sneered.  “Such faith and useless sentiment.”  He shoved Thor’s head back down, the fingers of his other hand shifting up to dig into his hip.  “I will enjoy ridding you of those.”

 

Ignoring the risks, Thor taunted him further.

 

“You still talk much and do little.  I have yet to feel this true shame you speak of.”

 

“You think I won’t?” Loki snapped.  “You think me too weak or _emotional_ –”

 

He stopped abruptly and Thor tried to turn his head again to see what the reason was.  He realised it was because Loki was now chuckling.  Thor frowned.

 

“Oh, I see.  I see what’s going on here,” Loki continued.  “Baiting me into violence.  You almost had me.  But I’m not like you - my anger doesn’t explode with reckless abandon.  I am precise and deliberate, unlike your uncontrolled brute force.  Though I do applaud your attempt.”

 

“That isn’t what I was doing, Loki.”

 

“Of course it was - I know when I’m being provoked.  But to what end?  Did you hope I would unleash such fury that I would be crippled from the resulting pain?  You should know by now that isn’t enough to stop me.”

 

“It’s not that.”

 

“Then what?  Were you hoping I’d regret it, feel sorry for you?  And that would somehow miraculously redeem me and make me more like you?”  Loki snorted.  “I think not.”

 

Loki had loosened his grip by now, though remained arched over Thor, his face close as he spoke to him.

 

“I don’t wish that from you.  I’ve told you before - I don’t want you to change who you are.  I only want you to turn away from cruelty and violence.”

 

“And yet here you are, practically inviting me to display my wrath - to beat you, and, what?  Take you by force?”  He turned his head to let his nose nudge along Thor’s cheekbone.  Thor could feel him grinning against his skin.  “But perhaps that’s it.  Perhaps your motivations are more… _carnal_ than I’d imagined.”

 

Thor tried to jerk his face away, but Loki was quick to still him with a firm hand.  He went on.

 

“Maybe you _want_ me to have you.  Maybe you want to know what I feel like, buried deep inside your body.”

 

Thor’s cheeks reddened and he struggled, growling in frustration.  “Stop this.  It does neither of us any good to think of such things - we are _family_.”

 

Loki chuckled and didn’t move away.  “Yet you don’t deny you’ve thought of it.  Perhaps _hoped_ for it.”

 

“I haven’t - I _don’t_ ,” Thor snapped.  “I would never yearn for that.”

 

He shivered as Loki’s lips grazed along the shell of his ear, his breaths warm, murmuring into it.  “Never?  Not even in the darkest, deepest recesses of your mind?  On cold, lonely nights, far away from home, when you’ve gone too many days without touch - it’s never occurred to you to long for me in that way?”

 

“ _No_.”

 

Loki smiled again.  “You’re _lying_.”

 

“I am not.”

 

“Yes, you are.  You’re far too insistent - it’s an obvious tell.”

 

“I’m insistent because it’s the truth,” Thor told him.  “Clearly you don’t know me as well as you think if you’re relying on that as proof.”

 

Loki gave a smug laugh.  “It isn’t only that.”

 

“What, then?  How are you so sure?”

 

Loki leaned his head around to be able to look him in the face.  His eyes met Thor’s for a moment, before tracking down under his body.

 

“Because you are _hard_ , Brother.”

 

Thor’s gaze followed Loki’s to see the shameful truth.  His cock, which had hung soft and uninterested during most of their exchange, was now alert and reaching toward his belly.  He was only half-hard, but that was of little importance to either of them - Loki had made his point.

 

And Thor had no explanation.

 

“It is not because of you,” he said weakly.

 

It was futile, of course, to deny what was evident.  But he had to try.

 

Loki laughed, mockingly, at this.  “What is it from, then?  I see no-one else here.”

 

Thor tried to will his arousal away, but with no success.

 

“It is simply the talk of bedding, and physical intimacy.  In my state of nakedness, and the position you hold me in, I cannot help such things.”

 

“And yet, we’ve spoken little of the acts.  Other than your wish for me to have you, of course.”

 

“I do not wish that!” Thor insisted, yet again.

 

“Do you hope if you keep saying it, it will make it true?” Loki asked with a smile.  “Words are powerful, yes, but some things they can’t change.  No matter how much you want them to.”

 

Thor didn’t think Loki was only talking about him now.  He wondered how many times before his fall Loki had said things to others, to himself, in a desperate attempt to make them fact.  And how many times he had despaired when it proved futile.  Thor knew such anguish had been a part of his brother’s ruin.  Still, it was clear he didn’t want pity - his sole purpose now was vengeance.

 

Thor was jolted from his thoughts by the return of Loki’s lips to his ear, where they mouthed along the back of it.  The warmth of his breaths made Thor’s fingers curl into fists, and his blood was quickly becoming a rush of fire in his veins.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want this, Odinson?” Loki purred.  “You’re not enjoying have me so close to you?  Aren’t you the one always complaining about the lack of intimacy in our relationship these days?”

 

Thor clenched his teeth as Loki slid a hand over his hip and onto his inner thigh.  Despite the coolness of Loki’s touch, it felt like someone had lit a match against his skin.

 

“Not like this.”

 

“Oh, I think _exactly_ like this.”

 

Loki pushed his head forward, leaving the nape of his neck exposed.  A garbled noise of protest escaped Thor’s lips as he felt the wet press of Loki’s tongue upon his skin, licking an excruciatingly slow path upwards from the base of his neck.  He could feel the way it slid over each vertebrae, tasting the flesh with apparent relish - though whether the laboured breaths and soft groans Loki let loose were genuine, or simply more theatre, Thor had no way of knowing.

 

By the time Loki’s tongue reached his hairline, Thor was damp with sweat and shaking.  His arms gave way as Loki pressed his mouth down behind his ear, where he sucked a soft bruise upon his flesh.

 

“ _Stop_ ,” Thor breathed.

 

Loki chuckled.  “Now, is that stop because you don’t like it?  Or stop because you _do?_ ”

 

Thor shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut for a few moments.  The protests of his rational mind were no match for the want of his body - yet he refused to give in.  He was willing to be broken by physical pain or mental torment.  Even enduring Loki taking him by force was something he was starting to consider.  But to give in to this, to _want_ it, was too far.  There was no coming back from that.

 

Head hung low, he opened his eyes to see his cock flushed and fully erect between his legs.  It twitched as Loki’s lips returned to his skin, this time trailing open-mouthed kisses down the side of his throat, where he nuzzled and licked at Thor’s pulse-point.  Thor inhaled sharply through his nose as Loki’s fingers crept further and further inside his thigh, drawing frighteningly close to his cock, but not quite touching.

 

“It would be easy, you know, for me to provide relief from this,” Loki said, his voice low and silky.  “I could slide my hand around, if you wished.  It would only take a few strokes, would it not?  You’re already so close and my grip hard.”  He exhaled a hot breath down Thor’s neck.  “Simply ask me, Thor, and I shall grant you the reprieve.”

 

Thor swallowed the groan that threatened to escape him, cursing his body’s betrayal as a wet line of pre-come slid from the head of his cock and over the crown.

 

“ _No_ ,” he growled.

 

He would not plead for this, no matter his animal desires.

 

Loki’s fingers tightened their grip in his hair to hold him in place as he bit gently at Thor’s earlobe.

 

“No?’ he asked again.  “I don’t know that your body agrees.”

 

“ _Stop_ this.”

 

Loki moved off him abruptly, standing.  The air was cool against Thor’s slick and now uncovered skin.

 

“If you insist.”

 

Thor sagged onto his side, his hair a damp mess across his face, and cock still an insistent throb between his legs.  He didn’t need to look up to sense the smug grin on his brother’s face.

 

“I have to say, I much prefer you in this state than any other,” Loki added.

 

The words could simply be more provocation, but they sounded oddly genuine - Loki _liked_ him naked and wanting.  Thor wasn’t sure how he should feel about that.

 

“Leave me be,” he muttered.

 

Loki chuckled.  “Of course.”

 

And then he was gone.

 

Thor drew himself into sitting position, his heart still a hammer in his chest.  He let out a shuddering sigh, his head falling into his hands.

 

~*~


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor experiences some unsettling effects from his interaction with Loki.

~*~

 

For the next three nights, Thor dreamt of Loki.

 

Eyes, heavy-lidded and full of fire, watched him as he stood naked in his chambers, while devious lips whispered indecent words in his ears.  There were shifting, indistinct scenes of fingers finding their way over his flesh, pressing him open, and a sense of being urged into a state of frenzied heat and desire.  Though he couldn’t remember the precise details, he knew Loki took him there, and that he came again and again under his ministrations and penetration.  He did recall, however, always begging for more, and crying Loki’s name until he was hoarse and spent.

 

Each morning, Thor woke in a fever, angry at his treacherous subconscious and the lingering ache in his loins.

 

It was only on the fourth day, when Loki, with a malicious grin, asked him how he’d been sleeping, that he realised something was amiss.

 

“Why do you ask?” Thor demanded to know.

 

Loki’s eyes danced with amusement.  “You don’t seem well-rested, that’s all.”

 

Thor crowded him against the lounge-room wall, eyes narrowed.

 

“It’s your doing, isn’t it?  These dreams are of your creation.”

 

Loki didn’t fight him off, just watched him, his smile widening.

 

“And what dreams would they be?”

 

Thor scowled.  “You know of what I speak.  I won’t repeat such vulgar details purely for your entertainment.”

 

Loki quirked an eyebrow, bringing his face closer.

 

“And yet you certainly seem to enjoy them.”

 

Thor’s cheeks burned.  “I did not.  You were controlling them.”

 

Loki shook his head.  “I can only suggest.  I cannot force your mind to dream of things it doesn’t wish to,” he told him.  “You  _ let _ me have you there because you desired it.”

 

“I do  _ not _ .”

 

Loki lifted his hand now to grab Thor roughly by the back of the neck, forcing him to look him in the eye, noses almost touching.

 

“Do not lie to me - I  _ felt _ it,” he growled.  “Every time you painted your belly wet with seed and called my name, I felt it.  No matter how much you claim to abhor the idea in your head, part of you wants it.  You cannot deny it.”

 

Gaze steely, Thor refused to concede.

 

“I can and I do.”

 

Loki bared his teeth and threw Thor off, sending him sprawling backwards across the floor, eyes flashing.

 

“Then you are as much a liar as I’ve ever been.”

 

He turned on his heel and stalked out the door, his jacket fluttering behind him.

 

Thor frowned.

 

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is only short, but I didn't want to tack it on to the next chapter, as that one needs to stand alone.


End file.
